It’s the last few days of second trimester, the superior of the trimesters. Baby girl has been moving around a lot more now. Sometimes she kicks me right in the bladder and she sends me running to the toilet in the middle of the night. I find a lot of comfort in feeling her though. It’s like she’s letting me know she’s okay and she’s still there.

Yesterday, I was looking at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, just taking memory notes of what my body looks like at this stage. My breasts have not only grown significantly, but the veins surrounding them are way more visible. I’ve got cellulite appearing on my legs for the first time in the life. My hair has been thicker, my nails have been growing much faster. My fingers are sore when I wake up in the mornings, and my hands are swelling up now that I’ve finally had to take off my wedding ring. My armpits have turned a shade darker. Skin tags appearing out of nowhere. Some nights, I feel like the baby is stretching her legs and pressing up against the walls of my uterus that I feel like I can’t breathe. My internal organs are squished together, and it definitely feels that way. I walk much slower these days because I get winded just by walking. My belly has grown so much and feels so heavy, I can’t imagine how much bigger I’m still going to get. The dark line appearing down the middle of it gets more visible by the day. Every night, I spend time watching the movements below the surface of my skin. Little waves and pokes here and there. Sometimes I press through the skin and I can feel a body part, like a knee, elbow or head. In those moments, I can’t help but imagine finally holding her in my arms.

So many changes, all to accommodate this human being growing inside. Many of these changes are temporary. Some of them will change my body forever. I’m okay with it. This time will pass and I know I will miss it.

It took me years to get here mentally, being ready to face this head on. I just hope that even when I’m in the thick of it, being in the trenches, that I can stop and breathe and remember to take it all in – both the good and bad – to take mental notes of every detail. I want to remember it all.